01 September 2008

round one, 2am

So I got a wake up call at 2am the other morning by a noise that turned out to be Riley's disgusted grunt. He was awoken by an insanely loud cricket chirping in our bathroom that woke him up and then his grunt woke me up, awesome. (They really like it in there I've decided because it echos super loud).

I groggily ask what is wrong but retract the question as soon as my mind wakes up enough to understand that the chirping is the problem. Being awake at 2am is not my favorite thing and after a minute I get up to close the bathroom door thinking it will muffle the sound. It worked even better they stopped all together. Ah sweet victory, i crawl back into bed with a thank you from Riley and it's back to my weird dream? 5 Minutes later they are at it again. I get up open the bathroom door turn on the light and I see the culprit. Instict kicks in, kill the bug, bug belongs outside and since it is 2am bug doesn't get any mercy. I grab a sandal and after a few near close shots and chasing it into the bedroom I get the little noise maker. I go back to turn off the bathroom light only to find the largest cricket I've ever seen hanging out on the wall about eye level with me, i swear out loud. From the Other room "what's wrong?" Oh nothing, i've got this one. He was fast, he jumped off the wall onto the counter as I swung at him, I swung again at his perch on the counter missed him again and then into the sink he went. That was his fatal flaw. Although I have found crickets are agile on carpet, linolium and even walls their little legs have no hope when it comes to smooth bathroom sinks. Splat and that was that. Guts on my sandal and skeleton in the sink and I am off to bed, again.
Something that is important to understand Riley has this soft place in his heart for crickets that stems from his studies on Buddism or Daoism or something like that. They are supposidly good luck. He would much rather carefully gather the bug and set him free outside, which basically only makes the bug mad so that he goes and invites all of his little baby making buddies to sneak back into our house and now our problem has multiplied 10 fold. So you can imagine it didn't go over so well when I got back to bed after the massacre

Here is the dialogue:

Ri: I'm calling maintenance tomorrow
Me: K
Me: I got two and one was really big
Ri: yeah, well you swore
Me: sorry bout that but it surprised me
Ri: you killed two of god's creatures
Me: aren't the maintenance people going to kill them when they spray
Ri: there's a difference, they get to enjoy some yummy food or something and then they die
Me: oh yeah much better, they suffer and then meet there demise
Me: My way, the noise stops, and the death is instantaneous. Plus my way is fun for them too, they like to hop and hop they did.
Ri: lets stop talking so my brain won't turn on
Me: sounds good

Riley was wide awake on this occasion but typically says some pretty funny stuff in is sleep

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